grant application submitted - CHECK

Any other artist out there feeling like the business end of being an artist is exhausting?!? 

Once again I am racing to get a grant submission in before the deadline (today), and each time I do this remember my desire to get better pictures of my work?!??!

This was the first time that I needed to prepare a powerpoint presentation so hopefully I dotted my i's and crossed my t's. 

Below are the 'slides'.

Now off to the next task . . . or maybe a nap?!?!? 

peace to all.

One Birdie, Two Birdie, and so much more

Bird by bird is a mantra I use often, especially when things seem to be getting a bit out of control.  When my monstrous list of things paralyzes me  I just remind myself bird by bird (thank you, Anne Lamott), one thing at a time and I can breathe more easily.  Not surprisingly,  with all my recent life transitions, I have been reciting this phrase a lot, even hourly depending on the day.  So there should be no wonder that birds are taking center stage in my artwork!! And I am loving it.Now birds are no strangers to my work - they wormed their way on to the walls of 'this comes from within' and there are many daily dresses referring to 'bird by bird'.  For me birds symbolize many ideas - freedom, Spring, rebirth, nesting, nurturing, mothering, singing and flight.  So I am so happy to be featuring birds in two upcoming art/installation events.

First is this utmost exciting installation that I have been commissioned to create for the Attleboro Public Library.  I was ask to come up with a community participatory installation/sculpture to celebrate National Poetry Month (which is April).  I am working with a spectacular and passionate librarian, Amy Rhilinger. (click here to read an article about one of the many poetry projects that Amy initiated) Amy saw my piece 'insatiable' at the Green Exhibit and the Attleboro Arts Museum this summer and loved how people could add to the piece.  She contacted me to help create a similiar project for her library.  

After meeting and seeing the space and figuring in finances, we brain stormed on what would work best.  We both wanted to incorporate recycled material since Earth Day is also in April and we both loved the idea of highlighting the endless possibilities of materials that we usually cast aside. Our first idea was a quilt like banner using recycled materials.  After many weeks of cutting fusing plastic bag and sewing them together, or experimenting with uses of subscription cards with the idea of creating a quilt like banner - I was stumped.  I didn't like any of my prototypes.  Another meeting with Amy was needed, so off to Attleboro I headed.  

There Amy and I revisited the library's beautiful open atrium and were inspired.  Instead of banners we saw birds - birds in flight;  garlands of birds, covered in poetry. 

I loved the idea ~ poetry in flight, words take wings.  And I could see how i could incorporate recycled materials and make it easy for anyone to participate.  

working prototype of poetry bird garland

garland as seen from the underneath

The body of the bird is made from cardboard ~ cereal boxes, moving boxes, shoe boxes... then I cover each bird with recycled paper with bl/wht or brown/wht text.  I am using the 'text' from the paper as pattern/texture, not to be readable.  As I make many different birds I am realizing that the sky is the limit  for the different materials we can use on the birds ~ newspapers, magazines, sheet music, brown paper bags, extra tax forms :), blank coloring book pages, old receipts?!?! the list goes on and on.  Each different 'paper' gives each bird a different color, a different look. 

some of the bird forms before the wings are added

I hope to limit the palette of the birds to black, browns, creams, whites and grays, but then I was thinking of using/recycling the endless supply of old phone books, so yellow might sneak in.  Also an art teachers in the Attleboro Public Schools is going to make pieces for the installation based on a poem about gold.  So we might have some gold wings, or such.  So who knows how our flock will end up?!? or how big it will get?! 

I will be leading a workshop at the library next Wed, from 1-3 pm.  During the workshop will will be covering birds and putting poetry on their wings.  Should be much fun & an good activity for April vacation!! Click below for more info :

Interactive Poetry Sculpture Workshop -- Open to all ages!

Also I plan to post a step by step instruction with templates so you can make your own poetry bird which you can send to the library to add to the flock!! What a great way to celebrate National Poetry Month!!

So that is 'bird art project' ONE.  Now for number TWO.

Once again Fountain Street Fine Art is doing their one size, one price show in conjunction with the Fountain Street Open Studios weekend.  This year the size of the panels is 12 x 12.  So each gallery member, and a few lucky others, were supplied with a 12x12 wooden panel on which to create what ever their heart desires.  First I thought, dress, but then I realized that I love doing my line painting/drawings and that this would be a good place/time to exhibit it.  So I started to sketch some ideas on the panel and voila, birds appeared.  So below is the panel in process.  It is due at the gallery this weekend, so it will be done soon!! :)

10 x10 exhibit

Last year Fountain Street Fine Art did a 10x10 show and it was a great success and looked awesome!!! I wish I had bought on of the panels, but they got snatched up quickly.  This year the price for one of the 12 x12 panels is $200!!! So there will be many a good deal to be had.  Show information below.

Fountain Street Open Studio Weekend: 4/27- 4/29

12x12 @ Fountain Street Fine Art : 4/20 - 5/6

Opening reception for 12x12 : 4/27, 5-7pm

So that is a 'brief' review of my 'bird' projects! more to come!! stay tune!! peace, chirp, chirp!!!

late-night ramblings after a long day

Today I was possessed, as I have been for the past 4 days, by my driving desire to enter a 'new' work to the Fountain Street Fine Art's PAPER exhibit.  So even though it has been a long day, my heart and head are still spinning, and I felt that I might 'talk out' my thoughts here on my blog.  Today has brought up some fundamental questions that I feel many artists face now and then. 

the piece that I left @ FSFA

Fountain Street Fine Art is celebrating its first anniversary with a Paper Show (paper being the traditional first anniversary gift).  Besides wanting to be part of any show that this wonderful gallery puts on, James Welu, Director Emeritus of the Worcester Art Museum, is the juror.  

I have known about this call for weeks and I had SOOOOO many ideas.  But, as is usually the way my creative life unfolds, other life needs kept me away from focusing on this call, until this weekend, which was a little late.  

I mean - what a wonderful call - PAPER, anything to do with paper - my head was exploding with ideas -  

"Media may include, but is not limited to paper, oil, pastel, acrylic, watercolor, collage, photography, video, ceramics, metal, fiber, glass, wood, and stone. '

~i wanted to create an interactive piece with my little dresstag dresses, pinning these dresses on a wall (each with a fortune) to create a dress and encourage the gallery visitors to take a dress/fortune.  

Ever since I started the Dress Project I wanted to set up a situation where participants would disassemble a dress.  I always wondered how would the dress 'decompose', would there be areas of the dress that people would not remove?!??  But alas, couldn't fold enough dresses construct a dress.

~I also started a small paper mache dress - on which I was going to 'collage' letters and images of internal organs.  

This dress was going to reflect how I have been feeling during my divorce process - exposed and raw.  The initial dress form turned out very successfully, a nicely defined figure, but I didn't have enough 'quiet' or reflective time to be able to take the next step.

~I fantasized about expanding on my Daily Dress collages.  I wanted to push the possibilities of working with paper - collage, sewing, burning, transfers, . . . 

~I also have been working on a series of works on subscriptions cards ~ yes those pesky cards that are always falling out when you are trying to curl up to read Oprah.  And last time I checked subscription cards are paper.

But as the due date approached and the days/hours/minutes ticked away I was drawn to a piece that I started in March at the Vermont Studio Center.  It is a painting on paper, inspired by the wall paintings in my 2009 installation, 'this comes from within'.  

although I exhibited this dress
I didn't think it was finished

I started with a simple drawing which I then reworked and repainted, adding and embellishing with creatures and hands and insects and bodies.  I have started MANY projects using this painting technique - a mostly monochromatic line painting/drawing.  But with all these starts I have hardly finished one of them.  Even with the walls of 'this comes from within' I only stopped painting the walls because I needed to build an 8ft dress out of eggshells. 

So for the FSFA's Paper show I 'finished' my line painting on paper, which has churned up many doubts/questions in my creative soul.  

First, for the longest time many people felt like the painting was finished when I brought it back from Vermont.  But I didn't, I liked parts of it but I felt it needed more.  So off and on I have been adding and subtracting to the painting.  Then, in the past week I tacked it back on the wall and went at it.  Again I had some colleagues suggesting that it was done, but alas I kept seeing areas that I felt was weak, lines that I wanted to strengthen, so I kept on working.

the piece that I left @ FSFA

the 'start' of painting (VSC)

And I LOVED it - I LOVE this technique!!! It is very intuitive, I just start working on an area and I start to see new images emerging or morphing into something else.  I am drawn to creatures and internal organs; these painting seem to just unfold.  I think i could paint like this for hours and days (which I did @ VSC)

So why the questioning - I don't think there is any artist out there who hasn't struggled with the concept of 'over working'??!?!  Also as the 'last call' for entries was approaching I still kept seeing one more area to tweak, one more line to clean up.  And then when I delivered the piece and hung it with the other work I REALLY started to question the work?? I wanted to take it down and rip it up.

So I am struggling with questions ~ who knows when a piece is done?? How does one know?? If the work feels so authentic does that make it your real art, no matter what the end result is or the reception??

I am in the process of re-reading Art & fear: observations on the perils (and rewards) of art making by David Bayles & Ted Orland.  It is a good book about the obstacles that we artists deal with and even create for ourselves.  It addresses the numerous ways that fear can affect, alter and at times sabotage our art.  

Entering this painting to the jurying process has stirred up some emotions for me, one prominent emotion is insecurity?!? I surprised my daughters as I questioned if I should really leave the painting in the gallery.  It is hung by T-pins, so one of my daughters thought it might need a frame but then pointed out that a frame would obscure the surface texture!! 

I am thinking that these emotions are stemming from exhibiting something that is truly personal and new for me.  Besides the installation walls, this is a unfamiliar 'work' for me.  I wondered if I would have felt like a 'fish out of water' if I had submitted a dress?!? A few years ago it was a little out there to submit a sculptural dress but now I think of it as normal.

So why the whirling brain - the endless questioning of myself and my choices.  Was this the right piece to put into this show?? Now with my divorce I need to analyze which projects I spend time on - i need to consider the financial benefits and this makes my head spin.  

So thank you for indulging me in my ramblings and if you have any thoughts or suggestions I would be to hear them.  And even though I have more to say on this subjest, the clock is appoaching 2am and I am driving the carpool at 7:20 am.  (wish I wasn't such a night owl :)

So ~ नमस्ते, Buenas noches, Buonanotte, Bonne nuit, Slap Lekker, Gute Nacht & 

Happy Winter Solstice & peace

update from the SNOWY hinterlands

Ok it is officially Spring here and today it snowed ALL day!! Really snowed ~ big fat beautiful flakes!! & I couldn't believe how happy I was to see it!! One would think that I have had enough of this white stuff this year, but no. But charm of this place seems to work on everything!

So the roller coaster ride continues, although I think I have gotten through the extreme ups and downs, now the ups and downs are not so drastic, thank goodness!!. I have been on a productive high for the past few days!! I started a 8ft x 15 ft painting (why not?? I am only here for about 8 days) and it has been an exhilarating experience but also exhausting ~ physically and emotionally. This 'wall' is similar to the walls I painted for my installation 'this comes from within' ( I LOVED those walls!!) So when I was thinking how was I going to spend this nugget of creative time I realized I wanted to paint another 'wall'. But I didn't want to paint it over

again - that was the hardest part of 'this comes from within', having my walls painted over!! So I was perplexed ~ wanting to do a big mural like painting that i could take home. But since I am surrounded by creative, innovative folks, someone suggested painting on Tyvek!! So I headed out to the hardware store, stapled the tyvek to the wall and primed it!! Voila, a moveable wall. I did end up running the panel through my sewing machine so that the pieces are really connected (that was a experience in itself).So my wall has been my obsession here in Vermont; literally ~ paint, eat, paint, eat, paint, sleep, paint (u get to idea) however, i am not ready to show it, just yet!!

But I have been doing some other creative endeavors ~ first after YEARS of trying

to figure out how I was going to work with my pink foam .... dress or installation or ??? Well, here, with a lovely blank, white wall i realized that some of these pieces are pieces in their own right!! I put them on the wall and I love them! How they sit off the wall, how they curve and the shadows that they cast!! So that is exciting for me!! And I have some much of this foam that there still maybe a foam sponge dress, but not with these pieces!!

Also I have been working in my daily dress journal ~ it has gotten so thick that I can hardly close it!!! And then, before the snow, I took a walk up to see the mountains and finally took the time to make this little dress out of these small white pebbles that have been begging for my attention ever since I got here!! So the journey continues and I am soaking it all in!! (there is definitely a sponge dress in my future!!!)

Also THANK YOU to all of you wonderful folks who commented, email, contacted me about my last post!!! I now totally realized why I posted that post ~ moral support!!! it is PRICELESS!!!! so I thank you and thank you again & peace!!!

so much to post, so little time....

there is a back~log of things I want to share, but as the clock nears 1am I am going for the most recent and most exciting to me now ~ my intuitive painting/drawings. I have mentioned this before - but today I just bathed in the XCT of doing this work. I try to get out of my head and just put down the marks, images that speak to me. Maybe it is so heady because I need to be truly present!!! As the clock ticks I don't want to get too wordy ~ but suffice to say I am hooked!!!
I have posted 2 pieces that I put in this category~

< first, this is a page out of a small notebook ( 7.5 x 12 cm/ 48 pages) that I am planning to fill up completely ~ covering each page with this work. I am using different writing instruments ~ some pages are done in pencil or pen or marker. I am trying to keep track of the days that I work on each page. With this book I incorporate words as well as images ~ what ever word comes to mind, trying not to edit, judge ~ just let it flow!!!
> Secondly, this painting is red enamel paint and light pink latex on wood. The combination of these paints gives some of the painting a crackled look. The piece of wood is the cut out from the doorway in my installation, 'this comes from within'. The painting is about 7ft tall. I hope to do more of these shaped paintings ~ using different color combinations, a possibly different shapes of wood :).

well good night, sweet dreams & peace!!

inspiration and trust

Besides the weekly creative challenge that Illustration Friday offers me, I love visiting the sites of the multitude of creative souls that also participate. Besides seeing how they have interpreted the topic, I am privy to their words of wisdom, their successes and their struggles. This is so nice because the world of the artist has its solitary moments~ many times we are out there slaying demons all by ourselves. But blogs, facebook and other electronic outlets has given us ways of creating communities and places of support. I mention this because last night I came across a post from a fellow illustrator that rang so true that i needed to share.

The site is Dream & Vision by Susan Sorrell Hill, an artist and illustrator living in Northern California. I have enjoyed her illustrations and her posts many times but yesterday she wrote about her "conscience .... that ubiquitous back-seat driver who is rarely content, and when she is, it’s only for the brief moment before something else is unsatisfactory" ~ WOW, I know that voice! I refer it it as my monkey and moments before reading Susan's post I had been talking with a good friend about how I am SOOOO tired of this voice ~ the guilt, the self doubt, BLAH!! For whatever reason this voice has increased in volume and intensity, seeping into all aspects of my life!! I feel like i am constantly engaged in a sumo wrestling match in my head ~ between what i feel in my heart and what my monkey says I 'should' do. I have been told it is part of the creative process, but I feel this struggle uses so much energy and strength that i would rather be putting into my art and my family.


So I was heartened to read Susan's post (I am not alone) and to hear about her approach to quiet the voices. I haven't tried flower essence therapy but want to. I am working on being more positive and trusting myself through mediation and in my studio work. Just this week I started a series of artist trading cards and my first one was a 'trust' dress!! Also, in my studio, I have been working on a series what I refer to as 'intuitive painting' ~ the same approach that I took with the walls of my installation, 'this comes from within' ~ just paint and don't think, listen to my heart and not my head. I am painting on canvases and on shaped pieces of wood ~ and I am very excited about this work!! But I have been so surprised on how mentally hard this has been?!?!? I am painting away & my monkey is basically screaming at me that I am wasting my time, this is just doodling, playing it safe... but if i try and do other work I soon find myself back at my canvas....go figure. So I recognize that the need to create this work & I want to honor that need, so I will try to quiet the monkey.

So if any one has any suggestions about how to quiet those annoying voices ...PLEASE share!! I would be love to hear them. I am feeling that itis time to shake this monkey (or at least quiet him). I was watching Ella Enchanted with my daughter this week and in this movie the main character, Ella, needs to overcome her 'gift' of obedience. I have watched this movie a bunch of times but this time I watched it with new eyes ~ I need overcome my 'gift' of self doubt, overwhelming sense of guilt and lack of confidence. wish me luck!!!

Hope all have a good weekend. & my illustration friday piece will be coming later!!! peace!!

Enough already!!!

“Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.” Scott Adams

a story ~ Last Friday, Illustration Friday’s topic was 'trail' (I was very excited about the topic, had many ideas but alas never executed them, but that another story). I was reviewing some of the others entries and came across an illustrator who made a trail of dead fish and wrote in her comment ‘enough already!’ ~ I could not agree more (I can’t find the link to the illustration but I will post it asap when I find it). Then the same day I saw one of those heart wrenching images of a bird covered with oil with only his open, sad eye showing through. The next day I read an editorial about how there should be criminal charges brought against BP because this disaster came from cost cutting and neglect, but once again it sounds like the real guilty are protected by the structure of big corporation. Grrrr….

For a few days this all percolated until I decided that I was pissed and wanted to make a dress about the oil spill…. That day my mind was on fire – I was sketching, pondering, playing with different materials. However the next morning I found my critic talking me out of this dress ~ ‘a cliché, what am I going to do with another large sculpture, I should focus on the projects I have going on in my studio, blah, blah’. So I put that dress idea aside, trying to ignore this quiet ache in my heart. Now it was Friday again and Illustration Friday presented a special topic ~ Ripple!! The special part is that all entries can be posted for sale on this new website which was started by a community of artists trying to make a difference and raising money for the relief efforts in the gulf!!! (Click here to get the full story) It is inspiring and wonderful and ignited my oil spill passion again!! So I am back thinking about a possible ‘oil’ dress but this also reconnected me with my installation ‘this comes from within’.

As I figured out what my donation illustration would be, my mind went back to walls of ‘this comes from within’ ~ my installation that I created last summer. This piece has been heavily on my mind!!! It was a year ago that I started working on transforming the gallery at Medicine Wheel. I miss that project!!! ~ the scope of it, the intensity, the focus, how it challenged me in so many ways and I pulled it off!!. In my studio I have started painting shaped pieces of wood in a similar style to the walls of the installation – limited color palette and that intuitive approach to the painting – 'what does my gut say to paint here'. I am excited about this work ~ creating those walls last year was a magical experience for me. So with my ‘ripple’ illustration in mind I reviewed some of my photos from ‘this comes from within’ and was surprised by how they felt timely and appropriate for a cry of outrage for this disaster. So many marine and marsh animals were represented on those walls – sea turtles, crabs, nesting birds, lizards, some much more & I am sure there was even a mermaid or two looking out. Now I am not sure what my 'ripple' illustration will be but I wanted to share some of my creatures with you today and to encourage you to check out the 'ripple' site and purchase some original art and support the cause to help the animal victims of the Deep Water Horizon Gulf Oil Spill.

it has a great sound track too!!!! peace all!!!

http://ripplesketches.blogspot.com/

the anything is possible phase!!!

Yesterday I received the exciting news that I was going to be part of the Juried Installation Show at the Student Union Art Gallery at UMass Amherst. (the show runs from March 22 -April 2, 2010). I am so thrilled to be creating another installation. The challenging thing about this news is that the installation needs to be 'delivered' next week ~ nothing like a deadline!!! I should note that this installation is going to be on a much smaller scale than my first installation, 'this comes from within'. It is also going to be one of a collection of installations. An intriguing aspect is that this installation does not involve a dress!!!! (yes, you read right). This installation is going to revolve around a table covered with these pieces of pink foam that I have been sewing together FOREVER!!! I began sewing them together to make a big pink foam dress - but for whatever reason they have not gone in that direction. They have a wonderful presence of their own - organic, visceral and mysterious ~ so I am excited to showcase them ( I LOVE my pink foam pieces).

So I have been getting my head back in the game & I must confess it has been awesome to be back, immersed in art!! I mean I always have art on the brain but a show or deadline gives me some sense of purpose; or definitely some sense of boundaries when it comes to my work and my role as a mother & wife ~ "Mom needs to go to her studio now because this is DUE!" one concern is that my energy level is still not at its 'normal' state which will add to the challenge but I have faith~ a little at a

time.

But this time of a project is my favorite time - the brainstorming, the conceptualizing, the anything is possible phase!!! And a main part of this phase for me is a trip to the library!!! So with a child in tow I headed out to 'research' ~ I LOVE to research, always have!!! My daughter was so shocked by all the books that i had collected to review she took a picture. I had books on some of my favorite muses ~ Gertrude Stein, Ann Hamilton, Mary Oliver & Nikki Giovanni, to name a few. There were some books on symbols, myths and insects ~ as i mentioned before this is the time that anything is possible!!!! I am in heaven leafing thru these books absorbing everything!!
Also today I worked on Thesaurus.com perusing different words to help me work on a title and help create the sense of emotion that i want the piece to have. As I hop~scotched from one word to the next I was struck by my attraction to words, their many different meanings and also their physical appearance!!! (In fact to keep myself sane during my month of recovery I have been playing many word games ~ many games of scrabble were played in the hospital.) Words have found their way into much of my work ~ particularly the Strata series which I hope to continue. Here is a picture of Strata II with a detail. They are a stream of consciousness in the form of a dress. For the first three that i have executed I have printed the words with rubber stamps directly on wood, then built up the surrounding area with lace, wax, seeds, rope and other organic materials. For me this series represent the emotional & spiritual depth of women especially, and all of humankind in general. It reminds me of a quote from Plato that i keep with me always ~

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.
Plato

peace

hands, hands, ...glorious hands

You might have noticed that my blog has been quiet for awhile. That is because last week i had surgery on my left hand and I have been a bit out of commission! The surgery was part of the repercussions of breaking up a dog fight. I have now learned my lesson that you don't use your hands (especially if you are an artist) to break up a dog fight. I will never do it again, I SWEAR!!!! (u can't imagine how many times people have questioned my actions... but i digress) So suffice to say I have learned my lesson and also have had an intimate education on bone infections (which is why they had to operate). But I am recovering well and my left hand now has a removable brace so I can type, so hence i can blog!!! And I felt an appropriate topic would be hands!!!

Back in October, before the ‘dog’ incident I drew this hand dress on the door of a friend’s studio. I drew it during a melancholy and lonely afternoon. I wasn’t sure what I was going to draw on this empty canvas of a door, but when I started I found myself just drawing these hands holding the dress or ‘me’ together. As I drew the dress the hands changed from being flat to curving around the figure. For me touch and cuddle is so important and I loved the idea of this dress embracing me, holding me. It made me feel better of that afternoon.

Now this is an outside door so in the elements of Boston winters the dress went its way, as all my ephemeral dresses do. And I was fine with that, until the day before my hand surgery. It was Sunday and of course I had a million different places to be and things to do before going into the hospital. I didn’t think I was too anxious about the procedure – I had done my homework and I was glad it was not going to be both hands and I had all these things to think about…. But as I was racing around I passed by my friend’s empty studio door and I found myself pining for the hand dress. Even though I was already late I turned around, found my chalk and recreated my hand dress. There had been an ever so light suggestion of the first dress and so I patiently retraced this dress that had given me such solace during a time of sadness. Now it was giving me a moment of quiet during an anxious time. When I finished the dress & got back in my car I had a new calm about having surgery and an acceptance of not being able to work for awhile. I drove away in awe of the power of the creative drive and how it can be so healing.

Now while I was convalescing I ruminated about hands. I could not use my hands much but I was ACUTELY aware of how much I usually do with my hands, and what amazing instruments they are. Soon after the ‘dog incident’ I had started a series of hands ~ mostly drawings; and as I lying in bed I envisioned how I would continue the series. But as I thought about working with hands I realized that hands have been present in much of my work for decades ~ in my hand painted clothing, in my illustration as well as in the Dress Project. In fact the walls of my installation ‘this comes from within’ was full of hands ~ coming out of pots, off of vines, out of the bathtub, and in my favorite corner there were seven hands reaching up out of this ‘nest’ of life. I have always been a fan of hands - visually they are beautiful and they represent so much. And especially for me ~ they represent the importance of touch ~ that physical connection with another being. Peace