update from the SNOWY hinterlands

Ok it is officially Spring here and today it snowed ALL day!! Really snowed ~ big fat beautiful flakes!! & I couldn't believe how happy I was to see it!! One would think that I have had enough of this white stuff this year, but no. But charm of this place seems to work on everything!

So the roller coaster ride continues, although I think I have gotten through the extreme ups and downs, now the ups and downs are not so drastic, thank goodness!!. I have been on a productive high for the past few days!! I started a 8ft x 15 ft painting (why not?? I am only here for about 8 days) and it has been an exhilarating experience but also exhausting ~ physically and emotionally. This 'wall' is similar to the walls I painted for my installation 'this comes from within' ( I LOVED those walls!!) So when I was thinking how was I going to spend this nugget of creative time I realized I wanted to paint another 'wall'. But I didn't want to paint it over

again - that was the hardest part of 'this comes from within', having my walls painted over!! So I was perplexed ~ wanting to do a big mural like painting that i could take home. But since I am surrounded by creative, innovative folks, someone suggested painting on Tyvek!! So I headed out to the hardware store, stapled the tyvek to the wall and primed it!! Voila, a moveable wall. I did end up running the panel through my sewing machine so that the pieces are really connected (that was a experience in itself).So my wall has been my obsession here in Vermont; literally ~ paint, eat, paint, eat, paint, sleep, paint (u get to idea) however, i am not ready to show it, just yet!!

But I have been doing some other creative endeavors ~ first after YEARS of trying

to figure out how I was going to work with my pink foam .... dress or installation or ??? Well, here, with a lovely blank, white wall i realized that some of these pieces are pieces in their own right!! I put them on the wall and I love them! How they sit off the wall, how they curve and the shadows that they cast!! So that is exciting for me!! And I have some much of this foam that there still maybe a foam sponge dress, but not with these pieces!!

Also I have been working in my daily dress journal ~ it has gotten so thick that I can hardly close it!!! And then, before the snow, I took a walk up to see the mountains and finally took the time to make this little dress out of these small white pebbles that have been begging for my attention ever since I got here!! So the journey continues and I am soaking it all in!! (there is definitely a sponge dress in my future!!!)

Also THANK YOU to all of you wonderful folks who commented, email, contacted me about my last post!!! I now totally realized why I posted that post ~ moral support!!! it is PRICELESS!!!! so I thank you and thank you again & peace!!!

notes from the front......

"when does carpe diem become a death march??" this was the thought running through my head as I stumbled out of bed this morning. Being here at Vermont Studio Center is one of the most exciting experiences of my life and i don't want to squander a second of it!!!! I have a beautiful studio space, inspiring people around me & nary a responsibility: they are even feeding me here, and it's great food!!! This is a spectacular experience and I want to take FULL advantage of ~ carpe diem!! but I also must sleep & not return home a wreck...which is the direction I have been heading. And also I know the good stuff does not come from a exhausted, harried and manic place. So I am trying to make peace with this time that I have been given and release myself from this self imposed, suffocating emotion called guilt!!!

If you follow my blog you might get the sense that this time here has been an exhilarating and terrifying roller coaster ~ wildly, inspiring highs and intense, self-doubting lows .... all part of the process i figure. Last night as I felt myself slipping into the abyss I called a friend, a wonderfully wise friend. She posed the question to me ~ "what if one goal for this trip was to come back refreshed?!?" WOW, what a concept!! I am coming off an intense couple of months ~ starting a teaching job, negotiating what it is like to be a working mom with a schedule that is not my own, trying to help the household adjust to this situation, preparing and installing gallery shows, so I arrived here a bit depleted (to say the least). I arrived here in a manic state of exhaustion, determined to create magic to warrant the sacrifices that I have asked of my loved ones, not a good set-up. When I heard my friend's question my work ethic brain was protesting yet my core was saying a resounding YES!!. So today I am trying to walk this new path, a path of self preservation. It is an interesting path... I took a nap today!!! and I am thinking that I am not going to work until 3AM tonight (even though I took the nap).

Now why am I sharing this? I have wondered that myself... one reason could be to assuage my work crazy internal critic; another could be a sort of 'get out of jail free' card ( let everyone know that I am struggling up here:). Or maybe because this is a HUGE lesson for me ~ and one that I think many artists/moms & moms struggle with, taking care of ourselves. An idea that I have been kicking around for many years is a 'dress' using the oxygen masks from airplanes. These masks embody a life lesson that i am trying to learn:put your mask on FIRST before assisting others, such as children. Translation ~ take care of yourself first, so you can take care of others (if you so choose:).

Another reason I maybe writing this blog post could be for support, like the AA model, putting my intention to take better care of myself out into the cosmos so that I can have support in this endeavor ~ who knows, I am sure it is a little of all the reasons. But it did seem important for me to share. But now to the other things going on here ~the wonders!!

Here are shots from my studio - as one can see I am making myself at home!!! Also I had my first studio visit from one of the visiting artists ~ Xenobia Bailey. I wanted to come this week so that I could be here while she was here. She is an amazing fiber artist, a master crocheter!! She came to my studio this morning and we had a wonderful talk!! She is also friends with another artist that I so admire, Aminah Brenda Lynn Robinson. I saw her show Symphonic Poem at the Brooklyn Museum of Art and it blew my mind!! I saw it right before I start the Dress Project and I know that her work was a powerful influence. The show moved me so that I bought the show's book and I brought it with me to VSC, as a talisman. When Xenobia saw the book she ask me if I would like to talk to Aminah!! OMG, of course!! So not only did I have an awe-inspiring conversation with Xenobia Bailey today I got to speak with Aminah Brenda Lynn Robinson. Have I mentioned that this is an amazing experience?!?!?

So there is a little from my life up here in the north!! Thank you to all who read this entire post ~ I know it got a little long; hope it was worth the read & peace from the green mountains!!

finding a groove

After all my anticipation and excitement about being at Vermont Studio Center, my first day here was difficult!! I felt sooooo out of sorts, out of my chair as a good friend says. Besides arriving a day late!! (my bad, had written the arrival day down wrong on a few of my calendars?!?!?), and coming in the middle of a longer session (most of the folks here are here for at least 4 weeks) I really doubted if I belonged here. But luckily that mental state or 'head trash' has past and I am feeling a little more like myself & LOVING being in my studio!!

Although I was doubting myself, I did set up a carbon footprint dress yesterday. I put it outside my studio door and my studio mates are being great about adding their Vermont dirt. The interesting thing is that since I was feeling pretty sheepish yesterday, the dress is a little

dress (note boots), a bit demure. But it is getting dirty fast!! but it is mud season here!!!!

Then today things got sensationally better ~ I went into a beautiful local bookstore, Ebenezer Books, to see if they sold blank CDs and they didn't; but I saw this amazing book about one of my utmost favorite artists, Niki de Saint Phalle. I could not believe it ~ I have unsuccessfully looked for books about her & here was one, in a small bookstore in Johnson, VT!!! I took it as a sign - that I am supposed to be here and that I belong here. So I bought the book and brought it back to my studio where it now is smiling at me as I set up a new project, that I wildly crazy about ... but more about that later.

so I found my groove & it feels good!!! (maybe someday I will learn this life lesson; that when I am consumed with self doubt & feel as though I have lost all my ideas and talent, that this too will pass. Every time this happens I panic & then I am so relieved!... maybe some day)

Peace & be well!!

IF:stir & OMG: im @ VSC

Translation :

Illustration Friday: stir & Oh My Goddess, I'm at Vermont Studio Center (pinch me now!!!!)

(warning: writing after little sleep and a long drive :)

now where to begin......so many wonderful things to share!!

First ~ yesterday I had the amazing opportunity to sit down and have a sublime conversation with a kindred spirit, artist Lisa Barthelson. We did this at Fountain Street Fine Art in conjunction with our show. It was an inspiring time and the gallery taped it so those who could not be there can catch it on YouTube!! I'll post the link when i get it. It was quite a thrill for me and an amazing way to head for to an artist's retreat.

Yes this is another wonderful thing!! I am presently at Vermont Studio Center to do art for two weeks!!! I really can't believe that i am here but here are photos of my studio!!! This is an opportunity that I have wanted to do for DECADES!!! Just arrived a few hours ago but already I feel like i am in heaven!! One thing that i am looking forward to is being in the company of other people who just want to make art ALL the TIME. I met the other folks in my studio building and besides being very nice, they said, 'if you need us, you will find us here, in our studios, at any hour!!' I have found my peeps!!! I am already feeling the affects of this place - I have had very little sleep (packing, sick child...), loaded a car and then drove 4+ hours, and one would think that I would sleep but no, I just wanted to set up my studio!!! :)

It was hard to figure out what from my studio in Natick to bring, so many different materials.... But I picked a few 'projects' and we will see where the muses lead. Here is my wonderful and dependable van packed with my stuff and want-a-be stowaway!!

Lastly, whenever i can, I like to participate in Illustration Friday. So when i saw the theme for this week, stir, I thought of this illustration. So voila ~ gotta to love cooking pigs!!!

good night for now & peace for heaven!!