" There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. No artist is pleased. The is no satisfaction whatever at any time. There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction, a blessed unrest that keeps us marching and makes us more alive than the others."
To me this quote speaks to the core insecurities that we all can battle with, artist or not. It speaks to the idea that we each have a special gift to give the world, or as one of my dresses says, 'we each have a spark of the divine'. And it is not our place to block or question this gift ~ and that is where the trouble begins.
As a mother of two girl, one who is a teenager (yikes), I have watched as they start hiding themselves to fit in, how they have become guarded in their personal expression and appearance, how they put on masks, they close their channel. In their worlds, especially their entertainment world - there is a sameness. In the world of pop singers I am amazed on the number of Barbie look-a-likes ~ skinny & blond (i honestly can't tell many of them apart, but I am not their target market).
Now I appreciate this is adolescences, what we have all gone through and they are discovering who they are..., yet it doesn't stop at adolescences, and it is not only in the celebrity world. I see it in my everyday world, the real world I have always wondered why does everyone want to look like everyone else??? Everyone following the latest fashion craze, no matter if it doesn't feel right on their particular body type. (In high school I wanted to be the Glamour Don't) Where did the idea of personal expression quietly get squashed?? Thank you advertising and media ~ the more insecure we feel about ourselves the more we will buy.
I am aware that I am talking in large generalizations, and now more then ever are is an embracing of differences. But I believe there could be so much more celebrating of our uniqueness - our gifts, our 'quickening's. And for those of us who struggle with this (I am constantly in a battle with self doubt and mourn the energy that I spend in this wrestling match), I desire that we find a way to believe more in our own voices, our own visions, our own expressions, and to squash the self doubt; to celebrate ourselves and each other; be at peace with that queer, divine dissatisfaction. ( I love Graham's choice of words ~ I know exactly how that feels ~ queer and divine)
and for those of us on the East Coast I hope we all ride out Irene safe and sound and dry!!