Tuesday, March 15, 2011

finding a groove

After all my anticipation and excitement about being at Vermont Studio Center, my first day here was difficult!! I felt sooooo out of sorts, out of my chair as a good friend says. Besides arriving a day late!! (my bad, had written the arrival day down wrong on a few of my calendars?!?!?), and coming in the middle of a longer session (most of the folks here are here for at least 4 weeks) I really doubted if I belonged here. But luckily that mental state or 'head trash' has past and I am feeling a little more like myself & LOVING being in my studio!!

Although I was doubting myself, I did set up a carbon footprint dress yesterday. I put it outside my studio door and my studio mates are being great about adding their Vermont dirt. The interesting thing is that since I was feeling pretty sheepish yesterday, the dress is a little
dress (note boots), a bit demure. But it is getting dirty fast!! but it is mud season here!!!!

Then today things got sensationally better ~ I went into a beautiful local bookstore, Ebenezer Books, to see if they sold blank CDs and they didn't; but I saw this amazing book about one of my utmost favorite artists, Niki de Saint Phalle. I could not believe it ~ I have unsuccessfully looked for books about her & here was one, in a small bookstore in Johnson, VT!!! I took it as a sign - that I am supposed to be here and that I belong here. So I bought the book and brought it back to my studio where it now is smiling at me as I set up a new project, that I wildly crazy about ... but more about that later.

so I found my groove & it feels good!!! (maybe someday I will learn this life lesson; that when I am consumed with self doubt & feel as though I have lost all my ideas and talent, that this too will pass. Every time this happens I panic & then I am so relieved!... maybe some day)
Peace & be well!!

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